I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
