my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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