Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
