Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
