haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
