No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
