never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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