Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
