I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize