Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
