My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
