Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How naked do you want me to be?
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