so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Small penises have feelings too.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
