At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
