Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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