i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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