The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
