I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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