i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
one might say we're banned from that church
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
