I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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