fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
