If i come over, it means nothing
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
