i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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