If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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