i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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