So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Come see our sink grown plant.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
