Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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