Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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