i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
