Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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