i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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