So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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