Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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