Your tits are I can't wait for
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
