I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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