i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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