Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
