Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
