She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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