your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
