That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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