why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
