It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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