I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
