i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
