I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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