On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
