Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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