i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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