I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
