I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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