you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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