i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
