he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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