Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
