You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
