Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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