I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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