...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
