So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
