Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
