youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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