my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize